The chemistry is off the charts. He checks off all your boxes. She is everything you ever wanted in a partner. But are you compatible?
According to marriage counselors, compatibility is key to a life-long partnership.
“Compatibility is more important than love ― believe it or not ― and goes hand in hand with respect and communication at the top,” therapist Susan Pease Gadoua told The Huffington Post.Below, five signs you and your partner are compatible.
1. You share the same core values.
“When the going gets tough, like it does in all relationships, knowing that you share the same core values makes difficult decisions easier because you both have the same inner compass. Core values are the foundation of a strong relationship.” ― Megan Fleming, clinical psychologist and sex and relationship therapist
2. Your partner finds your quirks endearing.
“To be great partners, you cannot expect perfection. Everyone has their quirks and flaws, and to be healthy together you need to make sure you see these imperfections as endearing. Marriages break up over an accumulation of ‘small stuff.’ Do what you can to love unconditionally.” ― Sherrie Campbell, licensed psychologist Being totally yourself around your partner — warts and all — is a good sign you are compatible.
3. You come out the other side of an argument in one piece.
“If you’re in the romantic bubble and haven’t yet had a fight or disagreement, you’re probably still on your best behavior. This isn’t bad ― and, in fact, it’s supposed to happen this way ― but the truth is, you haven’t really had your relationship tested and you may still be relating on a superficial level.” ― Susan Pease Gadoua, licensed therapist with expertise in marriage and divorce
4. Your partner is the first person you want to share good and bad news with.
“Got a promotion? Won the lottery? No cavities? Your ideal partner will be the person who will be your biggest cheerleader and want to celebrate these victories without jealousy or scorekeeping. But also, in every life a little rain must fall. Compatible partners feel safe enough to splash in the puddles with one another. It takes a great deal of trust to disclose vulnerable, painful elements of your life to someone so important to you, but the strongest couples can withstand this strain and provide support while working toward a solution. If you can’t let your significant other help you when you’re down, how close are you, really?” ― Ryan Howes, clinical psychologist Your partner should be your biggest fan, and the first person you go to with any type of news.
5. You have similar upbringings.
“While we all love the romance of ‘Pretty Woman,’ shared backgrounds tend to be an immediate way couples bond and find compatibility. There is a shared experience when you both come from a divorced family or an intact one, if you both grew up in the same house or moved around a lot or if you grew up in middle or upper class homes. When someone has a similar upbringing, there tends to be a more intimate understanding, enhanced familiarity and comfort in a relationship. Comfort lends itself toward feelings of compatibility.” ― Anne Crowley, licensed psychologist